The result of hours watching Mabel whilst using the iPhone EquiTempo app to measure her paces, a trip down the motorway whilst Kirsty searches BPM databases, iTunes for then buying the music, iMovie for capturing the DV output from the HandyCam, and matching the music to the trot/canter/walk sequences, and finally QuickTime Pro for extracting the resulting audio track for her performance CD.

Then she goes and spoils it by deciding not to do right lead canter on the day.

"Never work with children and animals", someone in movies once said. You know, they were right.

AFAIK the use of the music is covered by our British Dressage music licence with the PPL.

Me-Moing

The time has come for Monster to repay her dues. I remember when she was the newbie to the mean streets, being shepherded round by the Naughty Pony. She soon went on to solo outings, and apart from a few tantrums on the Ribble restraining wall brought on by the sight of bad golfing slacks – and frankly who can blame anyone for that – she has turned into a bombproof little mare. She has literally ridden and jumped alongside the M6 on Boxing Day meets.

The Naughty Pony is no more. So it is now up to Monster to shepherd the rookie, Mabe. Or that’s the idea. Stroppy mare has other ideas.

What’s the secret of comedy? Timing*.

Lull rider into a false sense of security by mooching along, head in the air, wandering vaguely in whatever direction your head is pointing, looking in awe and wonder at the countryside. Cars, walkers in dodgy short/boot combinations, cattle byres, complete with sprightly bullocks appearing out of nowhere, all taken in her stride.

But lo! What is this beastly piece of wriggly tin roof fly tipped down a narrow and muddy bridleway. This is the perfect point to start napping. Back into Mabe who thinks that if Monster is scared then it must be bad. This is no time for pissing about, especially when the stick you didn’t bring because you never need it is back in the trailer.

Cue muddy boots and jeans for the sake of 100 yards of snorting and stroppy behaviour. Once back on dry land she’s as good as gold again, and no-doubt pleased with herself for causing maximum inconvenience.

Witch.

* there are those who suggest “schadenfreude”. They may have a point.

Should she do dressage, showjumping, or even a bit of eventing? It’s nice to have the luxury of tough choices sometimes.

This was an impromptu jumping lesson, and not too shoddy for a young ‘un.