Then the “ad-lib forage” promised in the adverts and pre-contract talk turned out to be one 4kg net of hay per day for Monster. 2% of a 650 kilo horse bodyweight is more like 13 kilos so that was patently not enough. Monster was very subdued. She had gone from accepting all day turn out to being resigned to it. She wasn’t settled – she was depressed. Now one thing about piebalds – and this is why you should never use a coloured for dressage – is that the pattern breaks up the outline. It’s the same principle as the dazzle ships. So it took a while, changing rugs and seeing her coat just once a day, to see that Puks condition had moved from good to moderate to poor. And the daily litany of complaints and nagging about the littlest issue became rather a drag.

We found a new yard and handed our notice in.

Then just four days later we received an abusive phone call refusing to handle “that f*cking horse” which had broken free in an effort to get to it’s stable and 5 kilos of food for the day. To put it in context, it had been turned out at 8.30am and was being bought in late, 5.30pm, in the dark, by a woman that would rather have been at a childs party than running a livery yard. Not very professional, and swearing at your clients even less so. Well, you can’t have a horse on part livery if it can’t be handled by someone else. So we moved them before the end of our notice and are well out of it. I rather begrudge having to pay up to the end of my notice period for livery I wasn’t receiving, especially as we were accused of theft when we rang to say they were going that night.

Still, as it happens the abusive phone call made by the yard owner was witnessed by a third party and word started doing the rounds that she’d been abusive to another client. Seems we were not the first. Since we left she’s lost her other liveries and gone out of business. Can’t say I’m surprised really.

While that sounds rather doomy and gloomy things have worked out rather better in the last few weeks. We have rented three stables, one each per horse and one to use as a tack room. Over the years we’ve moved from DIY to rather better part livery packages, but the move back to DIY makes me wonder what we were getting for our money. We get up half an hour earlier to account for the 30 minutes work in a morning, and take 45 minutes to do them in an evening. Which is less time than it took to even get to the other yard on a bad traffic day. At weekends we can set the schedule, instead of having to be at the yard to match everyone elses bringing in times. For the last two weekends I’ve actually enjoyed owning horses again.

We have all day turn out here, and rather surprisingly Monster has decided that she actually likes being out all the time thank you very much, even if it is snowing. We’ve been exploring the local lanes already and bringing her back into work. Now we just need to find a friendly local hunt so she has something to leap over.

Mabel is also just about to come back into work after the respite rather enforced due to life circumstances. Let’s hope she’s lost the attitude, but kept her trot.

Should she do dressage, showjumping, or even a bit of eventing? It’s nice to have the luxury of tough choices sometimes.

This was an impromptu jumping lesson, and not too shoddy for a young ‘un.

Well, the six weeks are up. The good news is that the final diagnosis was only, “only!”, a thoroughpin — another new word for my vocabulary — and Monster can be brought back into work. She has to be brought back gently mind, so the rest of the season is a write off, but at least we’re mobile again.

The bad news is that I’m currently working two hundred miles away from stables so only get to ride her at weekends. Her first hack after receiving the all clear and once the roads were sufficiently clear of snow and she was up for a proper canter, even her hunting bit was barely strong enough. That’s a horse that doesn’t know what is good for it!

Still, only seeing her at weekends she’s not quite so aloof as she can be when I see her every day. The first weekend back after five days away and I was on the receiving end of a properly pleased whinny when I shoved my head round the stable door. She’s even condescending to be groomed!

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